Items by Jenna Wortham
Wired: Top Stories
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Twitterers Stage Mock Martian Invasion a la 'War of the Worlds'
Posted: October 31st, 2008, 5:05pm EDT by Jenna Wortham
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A blitz of tiny messages document an extraterrestrial rampage in real time. Orson Welles would be so proud of the microblogging tricksters.
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Gallery: Computer Kittehs Pounce on Art World
Posted: October 24th, 2008, 12:00am EDT by Jenna Wortham
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: LOLcats are invading the art scene. Thirty artists took inspiration from the syntactically challenged kitties (or is that kittehs?) to create sculptures, digital paintings and pen-and-ink sketches for a sold-out art show in San Francisco.
The artwork — including a tribute to Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey (pictured), a digitally rendered painting created from thousands of LOLcat images and an homage to the neon-suited Tron Guy — will be auctioned off Thursday during a one-night-only LOL Arts show in San Francisco, to benefit an adult-literacy program.
Here are some of Wired.com's favorite LOLcat artworks from the show.
Left:
2001 — A LOLcats Odyssey by Brian K. MacDonough
Acrylic on canvas
: I Does It by Amanda Siska
Etched glass
: LOLcat whiteboard by Josh Zubkoff
Paint on white board
: LOLcat Fractal Generator by Robert Burke
Silverlight-based application
: Nu & Improofed - Nao Wiff 50% mor fluff by Dana Armstrong
Digital painting
: I'm Hit by Allyn M. Cowan
Acrylic on gallery-wrapped canvas
: Best in Shoe by Allyn M. Cowan
Acrylic on gallery wrapped canvas
: The Amazing Lolcat by Nina Kempf
Acrylic on canvas
: I Can Has Chainburger? by Emily M. Cox
Papier mâché (glue, water) and bags from six famous fast-food chain restaurants
: Neeyon Harblz by Dino Ignacio
Digital painting
: Dumb Icarus by Kinoko
Gouache on illustration board
: LOLHyoominz at Play by Jeremy Natividad
Digital painting
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LOLcats R in Ur Gallery, Pimpin 4 Adult Literacy
Posted: October 23rd, 2008, 3:22pm EDT by Jenna Wortham
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Those crazy slang-talkin' felines pounce from the internet to a sold-out art show, with a silent auction to benefit a worthy cause.
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Gallery: More Mind-Bending Sci-Fi Spaceships
Posted: October 8th, 2008, 12:00am EDT by Jenna Wortham
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: Image: Mihai Panaitescu Space is vast, and so is the fantasy fleet of futuristic vessels that could be used to survey galaxies and engage in interstellar battles. Typically left to the imaginations of writers and moviemakers, concept ships are being dreamed up by designers and illustrators with a taste for science fiction's endless possibilities. Found on conceptships.org, a website run by Igor Tkac, these nine wildly inventive vehicles supplement Wired.com's earlier gallery of sci-fi-inspired concept ships. Left: Car designer Mihai Panaitescu cranked out this spiky, metallic craft with a futuristic pirate ship in mind. Part of a larger fleet, its inhabitants would be rogue scavengers, scouring remote planets for valuable materials like energy resources and selling them for profit. Built from junkyard parts, the ship would be able to swiftly divide in half for ease of travel -- and quick getaways. "I do these images for relaxation between vehicle projects," said Panaitescu. "I always admired concept artists and their freedom of thought, freedom which is usually restrained in a car design studio." See more of Panaitescu's work. : Image: Gonzalo Golpe Freelance designer Gonzalo Golpe imagined this subterranean craft navigating deep within Earth's oceans as an underwater exploration vehicle that could be deployed in the event of an emergency. Golpe envisioned his craft being made of sustainable materials and possibly salvaged parts. See more of...
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Sci-Fi 'Sanctuary' Makes Leap From Web to TV
Posted: October 3rd, 2008, 5:44pm EDT by Jenna Wortham
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After sinking millions into an engrossing web series about a scientist who shelters supernatural creatures, Sanctuary's creators see their show find a new home on cable.
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Legal Crackdown Jams Michael Moore's 'Slacker Uprising'
Posted: October 3rd, 2008, 3:00pm EDT by Jenna Wortham
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Takedown letters go out after the documentary, distributed online as a free gift to the filmmaker's fans, shows up on torrent sites.
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Review: Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist Strikes Sweet Chord
Posted: October 2nd, 2008, 4:14pm EDT by Jenna Wortham
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Michael Cera's geek routine gets a college-bound twist in this cameo-laced comedy for the indie-rock crowd.
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Prosthetic Fetishes and Fan Erotica: Sci-Fi Predicts Future of Sex
Posted: September 24th, 2008, 6:47pm EDT by Jenna Wortham
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The annual Arse Elektronika sex-tech event brings its blue-sky visions (and its altogether concrete sex toys) to that bastion of prudery, San Francisco.
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'True Blood' Reveals Rules of Its Vampire Universe
Posted: September 22nd, 2008, 4:13pm EDT by Jenna Wortham
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The new HBO series digs deeper into the cultural and medical mythology of its no-longer-in-hiding bloodsuckers.
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Internet Memes Time Line Goes Viral
Posted: September 18th, 2008, 5:24pm EDT by Jenna Wortham
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Hundreds of web-culture phenomena populate a Dipity chart that's becoming pretty popular in its own right.
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Gallery: 10 YouTube Videos Destined for the Big Screen
Posted: September 12th, 2008, 9:00pm EDT by Jenna Wortham
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: YouTube's biggest tear-jerker may soon be wrenching sobs from big-screen viewers.
Sony Pictures has its claws in Christian the Lion, a clip of grainy footage showing a pair of animal lovers reuniting with their adopted cub in Africa. John Rendall and Anthony Bourke, the duo who adopted the cat from a high-end London department store in the late '60s, are currently in negotiations with the studio to option their book detailing the experience.
From the lightsaber role-playing of the Star Wars Kid to the brawl on the savannah in Battle at Krueger, here are some of the viral video hits ripe for release in theaters.
Which short destined-for-the-silver screen did we skip over? Submit your picks in the comments below.
Left: Miss South Carolina 2007
Beauty queen Lauren Upton's bungled response to a question about education during 2007's Miss Teen USA competition drew gasps from the audience -- and more than 30 million views on YouTube. Upton's on-camera gaffe won her instant internet fame and notoriety, but she still managed to nab third runner-up in the contest (and high-profile gigs like a cameo in Weezer's "Pork and Beans" music video and the 2007 MTV's Video Music Awards). Her public embarrassment and rebound are prime for a Hollywood makeover a la Legally Blonde.
DVD Bonus Features: Behind-the-scenes featurette with contest host Mario Lopez on his point-of-view; mumble-along music video of the mangled speech.
: Charlie Bit My Finger
Chubby-cheeked baby Charlie's penchant for nibbling big brother Harry's finger has captured the hearts -- and eyes -- of more than 50 million YouTubers. It's also led us to wonder if the internet clip could serve as inspiration for a good, old-fashioned horror flick about a baby gone bad -- like Pet Cemetery, Children of the Corn or The Omen.
DVD Bonus Features: Sequel to Charlie Bit My Finger -- Charlie Bit My Finger ... Off.
: Star Wars Kid
The trials and tribulations of an awkward teenager sound like something out of a Judd Apatow feature, so why not give it the full treatment -- starring the likes of Michael Cera (who already spoofed the video on Arrested Development), Jonah Hill and Seth Rogen?
DVD Bonus Features: Ghyslain speaks.
: Charlie the Unicorn
Who knew unicorns could be surly? Charlie's psychedelic voyage to Candy Mountain feels all too short at four minutes. Hollywood could turn his subterranean battle with kidney snatchers into a horror flick -- kind of The Descent meets Turistas.
DVD Bonus Features: What really happened in Candy Mountain featurette.
: Shoes
Foul-mouthed valley girl Kelly and her curmudgeonly family would make a great feature-length film a la Welcome to the Dollhouse. We’d cast funnyfolk Amy Sedaris and Will Ferrell to play the twins.
DVD Bonus Features: Liam Sullivan performs live as Kelly.
: Brokeback to the Future
Of the slew of parodies and mashups inspired by Ang Lee's 2005 Oscar-winning drama Brokeback Mountain, Brokeback to the Future is the most entertaining. Which is exactly why we propose a feature-length fourth installment of the Back to the Future franchise -- just add a couple scenes featuring Hoverboards, Crispin Glover and a souped-up DeLorean sporting a flux capacitor, and Brokeback to the Future might just give Dark Knight a run for its money.
DVD Bonus Features: Deleted scenes -- including steamy DeLorean make-out sesh where overzealous groping accidentally depresses the gas pedal, sending Marty and Doc into the future to confront the tree of life a la The Fountain.
: Chocolate Rain
YouTube keyboardist Tay Zonday, nee Adam Nyerere Bahner, wowed audiences in 2007 with a keyboard-fueled baritone rendition of his original song, Chocolate Rain. His dorm room-to-Dr. Pepper endorsement deal is a success story that would make for a compelling tale for the after-school set.
DVD Bonus Features: All the Chocolate Rain covers that have surfaced on the net --- from Chad Vader to Green Day drummer Tre Cool.
: Battle at Kruger
The nearly nine-minute home video of nature gone wild would be even better in Imax. Think March of the Penguins meets Planet Earth, but with more action and narrated by excitable tourists seeing animals for the first time.
DVD Bonus Features: Whatever Happened to Baby Buffalo? follow-up finds him crashing with friends in Park Slope auditioning for Hepatitis PSAs and lampooning the entertainment business as "so phony."
: Potter Puppet Pals
No Harry Potter until 2009? No problem. Potterphiles could get their Hogwarts fix with these twisted marionette substitutes tackling a host of subjects, from sensuous potions lectures to wizardy angst. That is, until puberty makes the finger that plays Harry Potter too big to be believable and a success-induced identity crisis leads to some risqué hand modeling.
DVD Bonus Features: Behind the Couch featurette.
: Evolution of Dance
A bleak look into dancer Judson Laipply's fictionalized early life, called Dancer in the Dark, reveals loss, drug abuse and an early adulthood spent in a desolate Russian work camp, wrongfully accused. As the film's narrative finds Laipply rebuilding his life through his love of dance, leading towards the cathartic performance that would bring joy to almost a billion viewers across the world, the film suddenly cuts to the video for Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up." The first feature length Rick Roll is born and audiences delight in encouraging friends to see it by saying it's "Oscar-worthy."
DVD Bonus Features: Clips of audience reactions in theaters as they are rolled.
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'True Blood' Vampires Dig Sex, Gore and Wild Abandon
Posted: August 27th, 2008, 3:21pm EDT by Jenna Wortham
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The seedy bloodsucker lifestyle surfaces in HBO's upcoming show based on Charlaine Harris' Sookie Stackhouse books.
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@DarthVader? 11 Fake Twitterers Ripe for a Takedown
Posted: August 27th, 2008, 12:19am EDT by Jenna Wortham
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AMC wisely rethinks its move against Mad Men maniacs, but these witty Twitter impostors could be cruising for a crackdown.
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David Wain Moves From 'Wainy Days' to 'Role Models'
Posted: August 25th, 2008, 6:23pm EDT by Jenna Wortham
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The director who got his start on The State wraps up his funny web series to focus on a big-screen comedy and an Adult Swim show about a psychedelic superjail.
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Get 'Tropic Thunder' Mockumentary 'Rain of Madness,' Free on iTunes
Posted: August 25th, 2008, 1:15pm EDT by Jenna Wortham
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"Behind the scenes" footage of the war film spoof ventures into "black hole of metaness."
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Popular YouTubers 'Borrow' Disaster Footage to Spoof 'Cloverfield'
Posted: August 21st, 2008, 5:45pm EDT by Jenna Wortham
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A clip of a massive propane explosion gets turned into art -- without the original videographer's permission -- and the resulting videos rack up views. Guess who's not amused.
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Lego Tableaus Re-Create Classic Photos
Posted: August 16th, 2008, 12:00am EDT by Jenna Wortham
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: Photo: Mike StimpsonLego fanboy and amateur photographer Mike Stimpson found a way to combine his two loves: He recreates scenes from historic photographs using the plastic bricks, then snaps his own photos.
The British videogame programmer first began assembling his Lego duplications in October 2007 as a way to pay homage to his favorite lensers: French street photographer Henri Cartier-Bresson, World War II-era shooter Robert Capa, American landscape photographer Ansel Adams.
Stimpson, 34, has used Lego bricks to duplicate everything from Buzz Aldrin's first steps on the moon to '60s antiwar protesters, but he has yet to produce a plastic version of an Ansel image. "Recreating large sections of Yosemite National Park is a little beyond my skills," he said.
Left:
Charles Ebbets' Lunch Atop a Skyscraper served as the inspiration for Stimpson's first Lego duplication. The original was shot during construction of Rockefeller Center in 1932. To stock up for the shoot, Stimpson says he bought more than 30 Lego minifigures to ensure he'd have enough variety to imitate the men in Ebbets' photo.
: Photo: Mike StimpsonRecreating Ian Bradshaw's famous 1974 photograph of streaker Michael O'Brien during a rugby match wasn't easy for Stimpson, who struggled with figuring out how to undress the stock figurine.
"He's actually made up of a yellow Lego spaceman with his body on backwards so you can't see the space insignia," Stimpson said. It's one of the few recreations without a smiling mug: "I tried, but he looked too much like a woman. The face I chose seemed to fit with the 'Jesus' look of the original."
: Photo: Mike StimpsonStimpson cites Behind the Gare Saint-Lazare, the celebrated 1932 image by French street photographer Henri Cartier-Bresson, as one of his favorites. For this blocky recreation of Cartier-Bresson's legendary snapshot of a man leaping over a puddle behind a train station, Stimpson tied a Lego figurine to a piece of thread and suspended it above a baking tray that held a few millimeters of water.
Although Stimpson Photoshopped the string out, the reflection is real -- he used a foam board to help reflect the Lego man in the light. "It took a long time to get all of the elements to work together," said Stimpson. "[There was] a lot of scenery that really liked to float away!"
: Photo: Mike StimpsonWar photographer Robert Capa became famous in 1936 for his image of a soldier collapsing after a fatal gunshot during the Spanish Civil War. Stimpson used towels and jumpers to create the backdrop of the photograph, then added a Lego character to mimic the dying militiaman.
Although nowadays Lego manufactures plastic characters with a range of facial expressions, Stimpson elected to use one with a simple smile to offset the severity of the original image. "It's a similar effect to [the] Lego versions of Darth Vader or the stormtroopers," he said. "Taking something serious and menacing, and replacing that with something cute, harmless and funny."
: Photo: Mike StimpsonStimpson special-ordered a miniature Lego firearm to complete this blocky rendition of a Pulitzer Prize-winning picture by Associated Press photographer Eddie Adams.
At first, Stimpson wasn't sure how to represent the graveness captured in the 1968 image -- which shows a Viet Cong prisoner being executed -- but in the end he arranged a Lego-ized U.S. soldier and civilian on a Lego roadway and took the shot.
"Some people find it funny," said Stimpson. "Some people find it a bit disturbing."
: Photo: Mike StimpsonStimpson subbed Lego figurines of an airline pilot and a nurse to stage Alfred Eisenstaedt's celebrated image of an American soldier dipping a young woman into a kiss in New York's Times Square in 1945.
"This was a difficult one," said Stimpson. "Lego don't make sailor figures as far as I can tell."
: Photo: Mike StimpsonStimpson made a few modifications for this version of an iconic 1967 image showing a hippie holding a flower out to a line of armed soldiers.
The original was taken by French photographer Marc Riboud at a Vietnam War protest in Washington, D.C. Stimpson swapped the antiwar activist in the image for Star Wars hero Han Solo, then used Imperial stormtroopers for his creation, dubbed Anti-Empire Protest.
"My normal working practice if something doesn't work is to add more Lego stormtroopers," he said. "I think it worked."
: Photo: Mike StimpsonAfter requests flooded Stimpson's inbox asking for a toy edition of Raising the Flag on Iwo Jima, the historic 1945 image by Joe Rosenthal, he knew he had to recreate it.
He hung a white sheet for the backdrop, gathered rocks and pebbles for the landscape and had custom figures made by BrickArms, a company that specializes in Lego weaponry.
Stimpson even carefully printed an American flag for the Marines to plant, but forgot one detail -- the correct number of stars. "I'm English," he admitted sheepishly. "That's my excuse."
: Photo: Mike StimpsonHow did Stimpson reproduce American journalist Malcolm Brown's 1963 shot of Thick Quang Duc's self-immolation to protest the persecution of Buddhists in Vietnam? With an oilcan, Lego fire purchased on eBay and X-wing pilot Legos wearing red Imperial Guard capes.
"It took weeks to find all those Lego flames," said Stimpson. "I was going to set a Lego figure on fire for this, but I couldn't bring myself to destroy Lego."
Stimpson stuck with his decision to keep facial expressions consistent among his photographs, and said he thinks the soft smile on the burning monk's face reflects inner peace attained through Buddhism.
: Photo: Mike StimpsonThe reenactment of a 1969 photograph of U.S. astronaut Buzz Aldrin walking on the moon didn't require much -- just a base plate of Lego turf, a sheet of black paper to resemble space and a Lego astronaut.
"Unfortunately, my '80s 'classic' spacemen were a bit too broken and chewed to use for that shot," Stimpson said. He hunted down a space-suited figure from a set, although he worried it looked too modern.
Although Stimpson says he has more Lego sets and parts than he can count, he often mixes and matches parts to get the right look. The biggest challenge is finding proper Lego-ized attire for the figures in his recreations, he said.
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P2P Sites Bring Home Loads of Olympic Gold
Posted: August 12th, 2008, 11:05am EDT by Jenna Wortham
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Web users aren't waiting for NBC's delayed broadcasts. They're going straight to file-trading networks to see Beijing's fake fireworks and the massive Blue Screen of Death.
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Animatronic Pizza Parlor Band Catches Fire on YouTube
Posted: August 10th, 2008, 9:00pm EDT by Jenna Wortham
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The rockin' robotic animals in the Rock-afire Explosion band get an updated repertoire courtesy of an online revival. Next up: A documentary about their creator, who's warehousing hundreds of the musical machines.
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'Paris for President' Parody Strikes Viral Gold
Posted: August 10th, 2008, 3:30pm EDT by Jenna Wortham
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Socialite turned political spoofer Paris Hilton hits web gold with her faux bid for presidency. The mock campaign video has been viewed more than 6.2 million times.
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Wooden Sci-Fi Sculptures Make Great Geek Art
Posted: August 4th, 2008, 12:00am EDT by Jenna Wortham
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: Courtesy Michael ReaSculptor Michael Rea has a knack for building. But unlike most architects, he draws on an encyclopedic knowledge of geek culture and an eccentric sense of humor for his unique sculptures.
Rea’s movie-influenced menagerie includes electronic consoles, time machines and holy artifacts -- all fashioned from wood. He even built an eight-foot-tall prosthetic suit, equipped with swords, for physicist Stephen Hawking after seeing Quentin Tarantino’s kung fu-inspired Kill Bill.
Click through the gallery to see his geekiest creations. If you want to see them in person, Rea will be showing off his custom-made woodwork at San Francisco's Fecal Face gallery in October.
Left: This grandiose gun, nicknamed Lysistrata, after the classical Greek comedy written in 411 B.C., wows onlookers with its intricate components and larger-than-life dimensions.
The installation also comes with a helmet and a flak jacket, both crafted from wood and burlap. Attendees are encouraged to don the protective gear and slip their hand into the machine -- sort of like a biomechanical appendage. The sculpture is deliberately designed to restrict movement and freeze the participant. "It's kind of an experiment about the absurdity of violence," says Rea. "Putting your arm into [the gun] creates a weird, paralyzing bravado."
: Courtesy Michael ReaRea built this oversize computer console, as well as its complementary sculptures, Space Capsule and Space Suit, after repeated viewings of the 1983 film, The Right Stuff.
Like most of his projects, he didn't sketch or draw any plans for his wooden control-room dashboard -- Rea just began building. "I just have a knack for it," he says. "As a kid, my models looked like shit. It's easier for me just to start building [rather than follow blueprints.]"
: Courtesy Michael ReaRea wanted to recreate his own version of The Right Stuff, the 1983 film about the history of early space exploration in the United States, but settled on building props influenced by the film instead.
The Space Capsule (left) is an homage to the Mercury mission capsule piloted by American astronaut Gus Grissom. The capsule, called Liberty Bell 7, sank after splashdown in the ocean -- a complicated stunt Rea eventually elected not to recreate. "I wanted to sink a capsule in a swimming pool and escape," he says. "But I figured I'd probably die -- so I didn't do it."
: Courtesy Michael Rea"I needed a suit to go with the capsule," says Rea, whose trio of work -- Space Capsule, Mission Control and Space Suit -- pays tribute to The Right Stuff , the '80s film about NASA's early days.
As with all of his timber-based creations, Rea didn't consult any technical drawings for his piece. He simply began cutting and fitting pieces together until the final product (left) resembled the aeronautic suits worn by the astronauts in the movie.
: Courtesy Michael ReaWhile tooling around post-college in Chicago, Rea and his friends got the idea to stage pseudo musical performances. After booking a venue, Rea built an entire band's worth of equipment out of wood. While blaring tunes over a PA system, Rea and friends would "shred" on their wooden guitars. "It worked like quasi-karaoke," Rea says. "Kind of obnoxious, but we did it for free drinks."
: Courtesy Michael ReaAt first glance, this sculpture, cheekily titled A Prosthetic Suit For Stephen Hawking with Japanese Steel, might seem to be mocking the world-renowned theoretical physicist. But Rea, always a fan of Hawking's appearances on The Simspons and Futurama, decided to build the mecha-robotic body suit to honor the scientist's achievements. The 300-pound suit stands eight feet tall and is interactive -- there's a hatch in the back wide enough for a willing participant to crawl in through.
: Courtesy Michael ReaThis is the view of A Prosthetic Suit For Stephen Hawking with Japanese Steel from behind.
: Courtesy Michael ReaThis massive tank is nicknamed the Time Machine, and it functions as a counter-piece to Stephen Hawking's prosthetic suit. Rea says it represents the conflict between Hawking and noted Pulitzer Prize-winning astronomer Carl Sagan on time travel.
"I often display the two as having a showdown," says Rea, who estimates that the tank weighs in at a little less than 1,000 pounds. Like the body suit, the tank has interior room for a passenger and can be moved backwards, forwards or even sideways by his or her feet. The price tag for the beast is a hefty $16,000, Rea's most expensive piece to date.
: Courtesy Michael ReaRea was inspired to build a replica of the long-lost, legendary Ark of the Covenant after seeing the coveted artifact in popular films like the Ten Commandments and Raiders of the Lost Ark. Weighing in at 75 pounds, Rea's holy tablet-holder stands 4 feet tall and measures 6 feet wide. "My design is not biblically correct," says Rea. "My dimensions are probably off … but it looks ark-ish enough."
: Courtesy Michael ReaWhile Rea was living in Madison, Wisconsin, getting his graduate degree in art, his rate of production went through the roof. After hustling to build a multitude of his stage prop-like pieces, he thought it would be funny to create a set of pseudo-power tools. "They're along the same lines as all of my work -- suspension of disbelief and hyperbole."
Rea's collection of elegantly crafted instruments includes a chop-saw, jigsaw, two sanders and a drill. Each piece is comparable in size to its real-life counterpart but are nonoperational.
: Courtesy Michael Rea"I wanted to make something that was bitchin'," Rea says of his highly detailed, life-size wooden model of a jet ski. Rea decided to create a subversive version of a popular pastime as commentary on human leisure activities and "the illusion of the American dream." He spent a summer building the 12-foot-long watercraft vehicle by constructing a large wood rib, filling it with pink foam and then sculpting large planks of wood around the body.
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South Park Studios Releases Uncensored 'Imaginationland'
Posted: July 30th, 2008, 5:00pm EDT by Jenna Wortham
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A new director's cut of the three-episode arc is available online for free.
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'FailWhale' Gives Frustrated Twitterers Something to Smile About
Posted: July 30th, 2008, 2:55pm EDT by Jenna Wortham
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A symbol of failure turns into a cultural rallying cry for Twitter users.
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Battlestar, South Park, Webisodes Scoop Emmy Nods
Posted: July 20th, 2008, 6:00pm EDT by Jenna Wortham
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A staggering windfall of nominations for geek television for the 2008 Emmy awards is helping bring mainstream legitimacy to the sci-fi genre. Space opera Battlestar Galactica racked up a total of six Emmy nominations.
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Best Robot Love Stories, From Wall-E to Weird Science
Posted: June 25th, 2008, 9:00pm EDT by Jenna Wortham
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: When cute trash compactor Wall-E first lays eyes on Eve, a flying, laser-gun-equipped fembot, it's binary love at first pixel.
Although Pixar Animation Studios' Wall-E takes inspiration from classic sci-fi films, the G-rated galactic adventure that hits theaters Friday is, at heart, an old-fashioned love story. It's the latest roboromance in a long line of on-screen infatuation involving at least one automated being.
From Star Wars' classic brotherly droid love between R2-D2 and C-3PO to the computer-generated babe in Weird Science, here are some of the best and -- as with the cybersex hostage in Demon Seed -- worst roborelationships ever to hit the screen.
Which unforgettable android affair did we leave out? Submit your faves in the comments below.
Left: Wall-E
Love-struck Wall-E does his best to wow Eve with his treasure-trove of relics from humanity's reign on Earth -- a Rubik's Cube, light bulbs and even a spork. Though separated by seven centuries of technological advances, Wall-E and Eve find common ground in the quest to save humanity. Sort of like HAL-9000 from 2001: A Space Odyssey, but with none of the killer instincts.
RoboLove Meter Reading — 4/5: This kid-friendly, sugary-sweet romance should warm even the coldest of metal hearts.
: The Stepford Wives
When Joanna Eberhart (played by Katharine Ross) moves to Stepford, Connecticut, she discovers a sinister secret about the perfectly coiffed, submissive female residents of the sleepy suburban town: They're all high-tech bots. In this 1975 thriller, the men of Stepford -- hoping to quell the early strains of feminism -- have all killed and replaced their wives with engineered robot replicas.
Joanna's discovery comes just a moment too late, as she soon falls victim to the same fate at the hands of her husband. The film was updated in 2004 with a version starring Nicole Kidman, Bette Midler, Matthew Broderick and Christopher Walken, but the original won a spot on our list for the creepy atmosphere and genuinely disturbing premise at the heart of the story.
RoboLove Meter Reading — 1/5: As cool as the idea of bioengineered human replicas is, this home-wrecking thriller bottoms out in the creepy factor for being too Hans Reiser-y.
: I.K.U.
This Japanese surrealist sci-fi flick follows Reiko, a shape-shifting sexbot whose job entails racking up as many intimate experiences as possible. Her inner circuitry records each one-night stand, and a large corporation sells the virtual-reality romps from vending machines.
It's not long before a rival company seeks to destroy Reiko's popular wares, but before that happens, viewers are treated to eyefuls of kinky, medium-core rolls in the hay ... and in spider webs ... and even in fish tanks.
RoboLove Meter Reading — 5/5: A shape-shifting fembot whose entire existence revolves around collecting "data" on orgasms? This fantasy pleasurebot rates high for having a one-track program compatible with any operating system.
: Weird Science
When Gary (played by Anthony Michael Hall) and Wyatt (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) use their computers to design the perfect woman, they never expect her to be more than an online fantasy. But thanks to an electrical storm, a Barbie doll and headgear fashioned out of bras, Lisa (Kelly LeBrock) is suddenly brought to life in their bedroom.
Breakfast Club director John Hughes' 1985 nerd classic redefined the ideal geek girlfriend -- Einstein's IQ, a rock 'n' roll attitude and the ability to transform pesky older siblings into amphibian hybrids and materialize sports cars out of thin air.
RoboLove Meter Reading — 4.5/5: Even though Gary and Wyatt never actually get home-schooled in the birds and the bees, they receive high marks on our scale for scoring priceless life lessons. And, of course, the shower scene.
: Cherry 2000
In this 1988 vision of a post-apocalyptic future, sex machines are all the rage, and lovebot Cherry 2000 (played by Pamela Gidley) is in high demand.
Unfortunately, a romantic interlude too close to a malfunctioning dishwasher causes a model owned by wealthy businessman Sam Treadwell (David Andrews) to short out. Sam must travel into an intrepid no-man's land of outlaws to retrieve a replacement for his beloved android.
RoboLove Meter Reading — 2/5: This movie gets low marks since all that stood in the way of Sam's "happily ever after" with his sex droid was blatant violation of the most basic rule electronics -- avoiding contact with water.
: Electric Dreams
When San Francisco architect Miles Harding (played by Lenny von Dohlen purchases a personal supercomputer called Edgar to help him with a project, he takes home more than he bargained for.
After a data overload and a spilled bottle of champagne bring the computer to life, the newly animated device becomes increasingly needy. As Harding ignores the feelings of his machine and pursues his cute next-door neighbor, Edgar (voiced by Harold and Maude's Bud Cort) grows more and more resentful, forming a bizarre love triangle with a disastrous end.
RoboLove Meter Reading — 2/5: All Edgar wanted was some love and attention. If Miles, or "Moles," would have worked on the relationship, he could have avoided the whole "pesky attempts on his life" fiasco.
: Metropolis
In Fritz Lang's 1927 epic silent drama, Earth is a paradise for the upper class of "thinkers," and hell for the working class. After Freder (played by Gustav Fröhlich), the upper-crust son of the city leader, falls for charismatic lower-class Maria (played by Brigitte Helm), he pursues her relentlessly only to discover that she's a robot, fabricated by a mad scientist intent on chaos.
Luckily, the real Maria had been kidnapped, and eventually the two are reunited, helping resolve the inequities and injustice of the futuristic city of Metropolis.
RoboLove Meter Reading — 3/5: Although Maria didn't want a bot body double, it served as a great stand-in when an angry mob was hot on her trail. So even though there was technically no android affair, Maria's roboreplica did allow for an emotional reunion with her human counterpart's love interest.
: Blade Runner
Bounty hunter Rick Deckard (played by Harrison Ford) falls hard for a genetically engineered clone called Rachel in Ridley Scott's 1982 cyberpunk thriller. Although Deckard's primary mission is to assassinate rogue "replicants," he finds the charms of an experimental model (Sean Young) difficult to resist.
RoboLove Meter Reading — 5/5: Since all signs indicate that replicant assassin Deckard was likely a clone, too, Blade Runner gets points for cyborg-on-cyborg romance.
: Star Wars
George Lucas' iconic 1977 space opera introduces us to one of the best examples of brotherly love ever to hit the silver screen -- the comically codependent relationship between R2-D2 and C-3PO. The two droids are rarely apart, and help their owner, Luke Skywalker, with repairs, statistical information and etiquette (when they're not bickering like a couple that's been married for years).
RoboLove Meter Reading — 5/5: R2-D2 and C-3PO positively sparkle as they bring the original and most endearing bot "bromance" to the silver screen.
: Saturn 3
Original Charlie's Angels sex symbol Farrah Fawcett plays Alex, the object of an android's affection, in this 1980 sci-fi film about a pair of scientists who have left an overpopulated Earth to live on one of Saturn's moons.
After a deranged psychopath masquerading as a technocrat arrives at their colony with designs to build a super-intelligent, 8-foot-tall robot, things quickly spiral out of control. Once completed, Hector the robot begins a terrorized pursuit of Alex and will stop at nothing -- or no one -- to win her over.
RoboLove Meter Reading — 1/5: Hector's supposed to be a highly advanced automaton, but really, he just kills people. He loses major points for not being able to deduce that Alex is just not that into him.
: Demon Seed
Artificial-intelligence system Proteus IV has a unique molecular makeup that's equal parts microchips, RNA and psychopath psyche. After the system gains self-awareness, it becomes hell-bent on spreading its cyberseed, and imprisons unlucky Susan (played by Julie Christie) in order to do so.
This tale of forced laboratory love begets one of the most unsettling images of an infant with an unfortunate gene pool since the demonic spawn in It's Alive.
RoboLove Meter Reading — 2/5: As cool as superadvanced artificial intelligence is, Demon Seed rates low on our scale for the whole hostage-and-rape story line.
: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
The fifth and sixth seasons of TV show Buffy the Vampire Slayer featured an unusual cast addition: a roboreplica version of Buffy Summers, the vampire-slaying teen created by geek maestro Joss Whedon.
Originally created at the request of bad-boy vampire Spike for use as a sex slave, the Buffybot gynoid is later put to use as a stand-in for the real Summers in battle and after her death.
RoboLove Meter Reading — 4/5: Billy Idol look-alike vampire Spike's got it bad for Buffy, and since he ultimately uses her robotwin for good, we rank this bot-nightwalker union high on our scale.
: Battlestar Galactica
Battlestar's chrome toasters show no love for humans, but the skinjob Cylons are a pack of intergalactic orgasmatrons.
Their affinity for doing the robonasty with humans generated a lot of heat when the Sci Fi Channel's re-imagined series got off the ground, and Cylon sexpot Number Six (played by Tricia Helfer) makes such a strong physical and emotional connection with Gaius Baltar (James Callis) that the doctor just can't get her out of his head.
RoboLove Meter Reading — 5/5: Revelations about secret Cylons working (and boinking) among the colonists show just how natural human-skinjob love can be. Bonus points for what's been called the "glowing spines of Cylon Lurrrrrve."
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Coolest Movie Metamorphoses, From Wolf Man to Hulk
Posted: June 14th, 2008, 12:00am EDT by Jenna Wortham
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: Image: Marvel When a scientist witnesses Bruce Banner's transformation into an anger-fueled green giant in The Incredible Hulk, he calls it the most extraordinary thing he's ever seen.
The CGI spectacle starts with the classic green-eyed flash in the eyes of actor Edward Norton, who plays Banner, and moves impressively through vein-popping, muscle-roiling territory into all-out lab-trashing ferocity. It's the best screen presentation yet of the radiation-induced metamorphosis that turns the brooding Banner into the smash-prone Hulk, and the latest in a long line of silver-screen transformations in sci-fi and horror flicks.
From the The Fly's Brundlefly to the fleshy, obese explosion of Neo-Tokyo biker Tetsuo in Akira, here are some of the best.
Which unforgettable scenes did we leave out? Submit your faves in the comments below.
Left: The Incredible Hulk
Each time molecular scientist Bruce Banner, played by Ed Norton, forgets the cardinal rules of anger management, audiences are rewarded with his transformation into an enormous green brute.
: Image: Sunset Boulevard/CorbisThe quintessential werewolf movies starring Lon Chaney as the Wolf Man used extensive camera trickery, yak hair and rubber prosthetics to produce the actor's full-body transition from man to wolf man.
: David Cronenberg's 1986 sci-fi flick about a lab experiment gone horribly awry features one of the most memorable long-form transformations in movie history. When a fly zooms into the teleportation device used by scientist Seth Brundle, played by Jeff Goldblum, the results are disastrous. First the scientist gains superhuman strength and libido thanks to a dose of housefly DNA. Then, he quickly deteriorates into a jawless, decaying, acid-vomiting mess he calls Brundlefly. Ick.
: Image: Sunset Boulevard/CorbisAnimal House director John Landis' 1980s comedy-horror film beats out its lupine brethren Teen Wolf, Wolven and The Howling purely for its lethal combo of camp and creep. The mixture of robotic and prosthetic body parts used in the extended lunar transformation sequences led the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences to create an award for Outstanding Achievement in Makeup in 1981 -- and hand An American Werewolf in London the Oscar.
: Shape-shifting supervillainess Mystique wowed fanboys and fangirls alike in 2000 with her seamless CGI transformations into various characters, and the blue-skinned bodysuit worn by former model Rebecca Romijn as the cerulean evildoer only added to the appeal.
Romijn works Mystique's magic in all three X-Men films before she's finally transformed into Raven Darkholme, after being injected with an antidote that suppresses her mutant X-gene.
: When rebel biker Tetsuo Shima uncannily channels the psychic power of a superhuman 10-year-old by the name of Akira, he inherits kinetic powers beyond his bodily control.
The futuristic city of Neo-Tokyo is no match for Shima's grotesquely deformed body, which eventually becomes an obese blob of tentacles, mechanical parts and veiny appendages. Did we mention Akira was buried in a cryogenic chamber beneath an Olympic stadium nearly 40 years earlier? Yeah, he's that powerful.
: Image: Marvel Forget Spidey sense. When an extraterrestrial symbiotic life form takes up shop in Eddie Brock (played by Topher Grace), the slimy reporter becomes a powerful creature with superhuman strength and a mangled maw of pointy chompers.
Known as Venom, Brock resembles an evil, mirror image of Spider-Man, and he's hell-bent on conducting a vendetta against Spidey's alter ego, Peter Parker.
: Though this film was ridiculed on Mystery Science Theater 3000, there's nothing funny about slowly liquefying into a gelatinous, murderous mass.
Steve West, the only surviving astronaut from an ill-fated mission to Saturn, begins a rapid descent into insanity and gloop upon his return to Earth. Before West disintegrates into a pile of red slush, viewers are treated to lengthy eyefuls of open sores, jellylike matter and bones in this late-'70s screen gem.
: When Norwegian researchers awaken an alien being in Antarctica, they're probably hoping for a friendly creature a la E.T. the Extraterrestrial. Instead, they got the Thing. John Carpenter's 1982 creature feature revealed the darker side of an alien invasion -- a murderous, shape-shifting being able to infect and assimilate anything.
: Image: John Springer Collection/CorbisAfter swilling his highly addictive home-brew tonic, Dr. Jekyll (Fredric March) morphs into his skirt-chasing, hard-drinking alter ego in a transformation sequence that stunned movie audiences in 1931. With the help of camera tricks and lens filters, the kindly scientist devolved into the iconic Mr. Hyde on-screen.
: Michael Bay's 2007 live-action adaptation of the cult classic '80s cartoon didn't shy away from full-frontal money shots of the army of Deceptacons and Autobots as they assembled. Though the 2007 movie adaptation included cameos from Starscream to Jazz, it was Optimus Prime's lengthy transition from red-and-blue cab into a massive, 20-foot-tall bipedal bot that stole the show.
: Step aside, Silver Surfer. The upgraded T-1000 cyborg killing machine in James Cameron's 1991 Terminator sequel is able to mimic almost any shape, thanks to its poly-alloy molten-metal form. The T-1000's effortless mutation into other people and simple weapons creates one of the most terrifying -- and eye-popping -- movie villains ever.
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Gallery: Jin Saotome's Super-Cool Custom Superheroes
Posted: May 1st, 2008, 9:00pm EDT by Jenna Wortham
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: He started hacking action figures as a tot. Now Jin Saotome sells custom-modded superheroes for hundreds and even thousands of dollars. "I would take apart my G.I. Joes, swap arms and paint them with my mom's nail polish," said the 30-year-old resident of California City, California.
With the help of his dad's metal shop, Saotome built and deconstructed popular figurines as a hobby. His first set of custom figures was purchased by a traveling jeweler, who bought an entire set of Star Wars figures for his son.
Left: Saotome makes a living cranking out custom creations like this Hulkbuster Iron Man. "What if Iron Man crash-landed in this summer's Hulk movie? He'd be wearing this armor," said Saotome. He crafted the custom piece using the beefed-up exoskeleton of Iron Man's nemesis, the Iron Monger. Saotome says this figure sold for $520 on eBay.
Photo courtesy Jin Saotome
: For this chromed-out version of Iron Man's first attempt at a flying suit, Saotome buffed all the joint holes for a smooth, retro look. He then carved out a hatch on the back and rigged an LED from a dollar store to illuminate the chest.
"I just love Iron Man," Saotome said. "I've probably made nine or 10 variations on the Iron Man character."
Photo courtesy Jin Saotome
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Saotome is revving up his collection of Iron Man custom figures to coincide with Friday's release of the feature film. To ramp up for Iron Man, Saotome mostly created variants on the character's armored costume -- but a few were made to look like Robert Downey Jr.'s version of Tony Stark. "I'm also planning one with a tank top and a unit on his chest that'll light up," said Saotome.
Photo courtesy Jin Saotome
: Blackout, one of the first Transformers shown on screen during the 2007 live-action movie, sold for the highest figure any of Saotome's custom figures have garnered to date. The Deceptacon went for a whopping $3,400.
"I don't think I could top that again," said Saotome, who's built up a large base of fans who appreciate his tweaked superheroes. "Those results aren't typical for this field.
Saotome sells all his custom designs on eBay, and prefers to let bidders decide what each figurine is worth rather than setting a minimum price.
Photo courtesy Jin Saotome
: This figure is a parody of Xenu, the leader of the Galactic Confederacy in Scientology lore.
Saotome's work often touches on the lighter side of geek obsession with such gag figurines. "After I did the custom Xenu, I got tons of e-mails -- but no death threats," laughed Saotome.
Photo courtesy Jin Saotome
: "In the [Iron Man] comic, Tony Stark was always battling the bottle," said Saotome of this artistic take on a boozed-up superhero. "That custom [figure] got about 11,000 views on eBay."
Though Saotome's joke figures are a big hit on the web, they don't tend to sell for as much as some of the other figurines. The Repulsive Armor Iron Man sold for about $150.
Photo courtesy Jin Saotome
: Saotome cobbled together this action figure in the likeness of his namesake. "Jin Saotome" is a character from an old arcade game the artist played obsessively as a kid. He adopted the nickname used by friends who admired his skills playing the avatar, and now uses the pseudonym for his work. Of the 300-plus figures Saotome has created over the years, this is one of three he doesn't plan to sell.
Photo courtesy Jin Saotome
: This Black Cat figure was inspired by an issue of The Amazing Spider-Man. Saotome is quick to point out he's not crafting from scratch, but "building on what's already been done."
Though he often takes requests for commissioned works, he usually looks to his favorite comics for inspiration. Each augmented action figure takes about three days to build, though it varies depending on the complexity of the design.
Photo courtesy Jin Saotome
: Saotome usually starts with a simple base doll to build custom action figures like this Stealth Iron Man. Utilizing a prepackaged form allows the figurine to be fully articulated -- durable joints are nearly impossible to build by hand, says Saotome.
He prefers using the Silver Surfer to start, then sculpting clothes or armor from an epoxy. "I recently stepped up my game, from swapping hands, gloves and feet around to actually making my own parts," said Saotome.
Photo courtesy Jin Saotome
: "I'm a customizing MacGyver," said Saotome. He estimated he has about three 10-gallon bins of spare doll parts for building figurines like this one, which is based on the Iron Man movie.
"Anything I have lying around is fair game," he said. Materials run the gamut from vintage figurines salvaged from a garage sale or eBay to a cellphone strap.
Photo courtesy Jin Saotome
: "Painting, the last step, can either make or break your figurine," said Saotome, who learned his brushwork skills from various jobs and working on model replicas. This high-gloss Iron Man figurine is just one of the action figures Saotome has been working on to gear up for the Friday release of the feature film.
Photo courtesy Jin Saotome
: Saotome confessed a love for all things robot and mecha, which contributes to his obsession with the various Iron Man armors and costumes, like this Silver Centurion model.
Though he's been focusing on Iron Man in anticipation of the silver-screen release, he's eyeing the rest of the summer comic-book line-up for inspiration. "I'm hoping to do some nice Hulk figures," said Saotome. "But Ray Park [who played Darth Maul in the new Star Wars movies] is one of my favorite actors, so I have to do Snake Eyes [his role in the upcoming G.I. Joe flick]."
He said he'll be skipping Speed Racer this summer, though: "Everyone's doing it and I pretty much only do Marvel Comics characters anyway."
Photo courtesy Jin Saotome
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The Making of Björk's 3-D Wanderlust Video
Posted: April 21st, 2008, 12:00am EDT by Jenna Wortham
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San Francisco filmmaking duo Encyclopedia Pictura use tech gear and old-fashioned hard work to bring a beast-filled supernatural world to life.
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Wired.com Exclusive: Watch Björk's 'Wanderlust' in 3-D
Posted: April 20th, 2008, 9:00pm EDT by Jenna Wortham
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Get a first look at Bjork's new 3-D music video, "Wanderlust," which takes you on a mystical, nomadic journey through a lush, primitive land.
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Behind the Scenes at a Rock 'n' Roll Poster Studio
Posted: March 12th, 2008, 12:00am EDT by Jenna Wortham
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Firehouse Kustom Rockart's concert posters are produced using a psychedelic mix of high-tech and old-school screen printing. Catch their work at the Flatstock 16 poster show during South by Southwest in Austin, Texas.
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Geek ChicGallery: Costumes of WonderCon 2008
Posted: February 22nd, 2008, 9:30pm EST by Jenna Wortham
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From superheroes to pirate queens, WonderCon attendees love to dress up as characters ripped from the pages of comics and from the silver screen. Wired.com presnnts a gallery of some of the best costumes seen at San Francisco's comics convention.
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Software Morphs Rapper Prodigy Into Global Cipher
Posted: January 17th, 2008, 9:00pm EST by Jenna Wortham
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Voxonic's proprietary method can translate lyrics into nearly 1,500 languages. -
Photographer Taryn Simon Shoots America's Best-Kept Secrets
Posted: January 13th, 2008, 9:00pm EST by Jenna Wortham
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Taryn Simon's striking images of unusual locations, from off-limits labs and radioactive waste to a death-row excercise area, illustrate her latest book, An American Index of the Hidden and Unfamiliar. -
'Shoes' Star Liam Sullivan Turns His Alter Ego, Kelly, Into Full-Time Gig
Posted: January 7th, 2008, 9:00pm EST by Jenna Wortham
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Infectious viral videos featuring Liam Sullivan's foul-mouthed alter ego, Kelly, bring the comic actor internet fame and then some.